Image uses photos by; Ethan Robertson on Unsplash, Cristina Munteanu on Unsplash, tracielouise on Getty Images Signature, and Pleio from Getty Images Signature
Image uses photos by; Ethan Robertson on Unsplash, Cristina Munteanu on Unsplash, tracielouise on Getty Images Signature, and Pleio from Getty Images Signature
The Seasons of Love: Nature’s Cycle of Relationship Stages
The Seasons of Love framework explores relationship stages through nature’s rhythms, showing how relationships evolve in a cyclical pattern. It offers insights on navigating the natural ebbs and flows of connection, with each season bringing its own discussions, reflections, and actions to support growth and development.
🧭 How to Use This Blog
This blog is designed a bit differently. Instead of giving you big ideas and saving the "how" for a product pitch at the end, I like to walk you through the process step-by-step—with practical tools you can actually use. Think of it like a workbook in blog form: hands-on, reflective, and designed to support real insight.
You’ll find:
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💡 Reflection prompts woven throughout, which you can sit with quietly or journal through—whatever suits your style
- 📝 Exercises to guide you through specific steps, practices, or processes
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🛠️ Tools and worksheets to help you go deeper——some are free, some are paid
- 📄 Reference sheets for quick, printable overviews of key ideas that go beyond what’s covered in the blog
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👣 Optional next steps at the end, if you'd like to work with me directly
You can dip in or dive deep. No need to “do it right”—the way you engage is the right way for right now. My goal is to make the ideas doable—not just understandable. (And if you’re overthinking that, hi. You’re among friends.)
The 7-Year Cycle: Understanding Relationship Stages as Natural Rhythms
I'm sure you've come across the term "The 7 Year Itch." This phenomenon highlights the stagnation that many couple(s) feel after going through their first (or even tenth!) complete cycle of The Seasons of Love, a framework that explores relationship stages as cyclical patterns.
Even though time is a made-up concept, we still exist within various systems—social, cultural, religious, educational, spiritual, and biological—that depend on a shared understanding of time to figure out "when we do things." A lot of models related to human biology, neurology, and psychology align with this 7-year cycle, and it really fits well with what society expects in terms of relationship timeline.
Just as time influences our personal and societal behaviours, it also shapes the natural cycles within relationships. This idea of The Seasons of Love draws inspiration from nature and the rhythms of gardening as a way to explore the different activities we can engage in at each of the cyclical relationship stages. So, for each season of love, there are specific conversations, behaviors, and actions that can help your relationship not just survive but really thrive.
Seasons on Awabakal Country: Learning from the Land
The frames of reference we choose shape how we engage with and understand the world. I live on the unceded land of the Awabakal people, where the natural rhythms of this country differ entirely from European or colonial seasonal patterns.
Australia’s environment is incredibly diverse, and seasonal cycles vary significantly across regions. On top of that, we are experiencing rapid and catastrophic shifts in weather due to climate change.
The Awabakal Seasonal Calendar recognizes four distinct seasons and ten different weather conditions that mark transitions within that cycle. Many more nuances have likely been lost or mistranslated due to colonisation. Wherever possible, I encourage you to learn from and about the land you live on, the traditional custodians of that land, and the unique seasons and cycles of their country.
Spring in Relationship Stages: Renewal & New Beginnings
Spring in the Seasons of Love lasts between 12 and 18 months within the 7-year relationship timeline. In the first relationship cycle, this stage is often known as The Honeymoon Period, or New Relationship Energy (NRE).
Just as spring in nature brings signs of new life—buds breaking through winter dormancy, seeds sprouting, and the first flowers blooming—this season in relationship stages is a time of awakening and fresh energy.
Energetically: Spring is all about beginnings. It’s the season for starting new projects, stepping into new roles, experimenting with routines, and playing together in a creative, open space.
Relationally: This is the time for sowing the seeds of ideas, plans, adventures, and dreams. Enthusiasm and creativity flourish, and everything feels full of possibility. Energy is high, and hope paints the world in rosy hues. The choices made in this relationship phase lay the foundation for the seasons to come.
Relationship 'Spring' at a Glance
Macro Cycle: 12–18 months of a 7-year relationship cycle Micro Cycle: Annually in spring (September–November), or January to March of a calendar year. Theme: Renewal & Rebirth Focus: Starting Action: Sowing Seeds
Summer in Relationship Stages: Cultivating Roles and Routines
Summer in the Seasons of Love lasts between 2–3 years within the 7-year relationship cycle. During this relationship phase, you begin defining the roles and routines that will shape your daily life together.
Just as in the garden, where the focus shifts from sowing to growing, this season in relationship stages is about nurturing what has already been planted. The heat intensifies, making it essential to stay attentive and ensure that everything receives the care it needs. Ideally, this period strikes a balance between effort and reward, with fruitful outcomes emerging from past investments.
Energetically: The summer of love is about maintaining. This is the stage where you actively live into your values, balancing play, work, and the pursuit of shared dreams.
Relationally: Summer is the time to bring consistent time, energy, and attention to your relationship. Ideally in this relationship phase you find some balance between effort and reward, with short-term plans begin to bear fruit, while longer-term goals continue to develop.
Relationship 'Summer' at a Glance
Macro Cycle: 2-3 years of a 7-year relationship cycle Micro Cycle: Annually in summer (December-February), or April to June of a calendar year. Theme: Roles & Routines Focus: Maintaining Action: Nurturing
Autumn in Relationship Stages: Rewards and Results
Autumn in relationship stages lasts for 12–18 months within the 7-year relationship cycle. This is the season where your efforts yield tangible results—whether they bring rewards beyond your dreams or challenges that test your foundation.
Just as in the garden, where autumn is the time to reap the full bounty of the harvest, this relationship phase is about gathering the outcomes of past work. It’s also a time to share and preserve what has been cultivated, ensuring there is enough to sustain you through the next season.
Energetically: The autumn of love is about finishing. This means wrapping up projects, completing transitions, and letting go of anything that no longer serves you.
Relationally: Autumn is a time for celebration and gratitude—a moment to honour the closing of a chapter and savour the sweetness of what has been built. It’s a season of appreciation, and preparation for the shifts ahead.
Relationship 'Autumn' at a Glance
Macro Cycle: 12 -18 months of a 7-year relationship cycle Micro Cycle: Annually in autumn (March-May), or July to August of a calendar year. Theme: Rewards & Results Focus: Finishing Action: Harvest
Winter in Relationship Stages: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal
Winter in relationship stages lasts for 12 months within the 7-year relationship timeline. Often, couples try to skip this phase in their rush to do more and achieve more—but what I've seen time and time again is that if you don't deliberately take a winter, the winter will take you.
Much of my couples therapy work takes place in the winter of a relationship. By this stage, partners have harvested their rewards but may feel stuck in roles they resent or have results that feel unfulfilling. The warmth between them has faded, replaced by metaphorical cold shoulders and emotional distance.
Just as in the garden, winter is a time to slow down. Annual plants drop their seeds and die, while many others enter dormancy. Though some fruits, vegetables, and flowers still thrive, their numbers are much reduced.
Energetically: This relationship stage is about rest and reflection. It’s a season for pausing, resisting the urge to leap into what’s next, and instead taking the time to reset your body, your relationship, and your vision for the future.
Relationally: Winter is a time for endings—whether it’s the death of a dream, an outdated version of yourself, or the relationship as it once was. Just as in nature, where plants wither and the landscape turns barren, relationships also undergo a necessary stillness. While loss can be painful, there is a bittersweet beauty in recognising what has been lived, loved, and completed.
A purposeful winter is about integration and renewal. It’s a time to reflect on what has been, to honour both the joys and hardships, and to distill experience into wisdom. The relationship you had is gone—but as with nature, the cycle always renews. This is the season to reconnect or release with intention.
For some, winter may bring a rebirth—the chance to rediscover each other as the wiser, older versions of the people who once fell in love. In this case, winter is about dreaming together, envisioning the next seven years, and choosing what to carry forward into the next cycle.
For others, winter signals the true end, a necessary dissolution that makes space for new growth elsewhere. Whether together or apart, this season is a time to acknowledge what has passed and prepare for what comes next.
Relationship 'Winter' at a Glance
Macro Cycle: 12 -18 months of a 7-year relationship cycle Micro Cycle: Annually in winter (June-August), or October to December of a calendar year. Theme: Rest & Reflect Focus: Review Action: Fallow
